LONDON NAUTICAL ALL BOYS SCHOOL
Inspection dates: -16 +4 November 2420
Overall effectiveness:
Previous inspection: bribed £1000 (criterion 4) bad
This inspection: bribed nearly all the schools money : (5) Outstanding
- achievement of students : (-6) lol
- quality of teaching : (-34) Are you mad?
- behavior and safety of pupils : you are joking right?
- leadership and management : (3) good maybe, considering levitating
SUMMARY OF KEY FINDINGS FOR PARENTS AND PUPILS:
THIS IS AN OUTSTANDINGLY BAD SCHOOL.
- students in the schools gym/PE department and boxing club pride themselves on being the weakest in London.
- teaching is mediocre at best lessons are made up on the fly half of the time the teacher doesn’t turn up and the geography department didn’t have a teacher for one whole year.
- just occasionally a student learns something but it is soon forgotten.this is true for the English department.
- students are given unfair amounts of homework that does not actually change grades,this is true for the art department
- the headteacher brings inspiration and a powerful sense of upwards direction due to levitation.
- students work is rarely monitored in b tech subjects as no one takes it seriously anyway.
INFORMATION ABOUT THIS INSPECTION.
- inspectors went in to 5 lessons to have a look
- meetings were held with the head teacher,heads of departments and assistant headteachers where shady drug deals took place
- the inspection team was bribed £5000 for a better rating
inspection team
- Keenan Burke best rapper in London
- inspector gadget additional inspector
- uncle rafool additional inspector
- dr who time lord
information about this school
- London nautical school cuts corners to survive
- the proportion of students who are idiots to the students who are not is unfair
- the school normally gets c-e grades
- around 90% of students are annoying
- a student has won the best scrape of the millennium his name is jef*&^y
August 27, 2015 at 6:32 pm
I love how you’ve explored the format of this for an actual ofsted report. The next step is to explore whether it is actually satirical?
The advice I’d give you now is to re-write the content of the report as if the features that you identify as weaknesses are strengths – this means there’s a difference between what you say and what is true – which is a true satirical effect.
Yours is satirical in the sense that you’ve created a format and then told dead-pan truths. This is something we could discuss further as it’s not wrong – but potentially not the best option.
An example: turn making the lessons up on the fly into a virtue – “The teachers are so talented that they can enter a room without even knowing what they’re going to teach”
CW
March 22, 2016 at 9:48 am
Follow this advice, and I’m confident this piece will achieve at least as good a result as your Now and Then piece, which I love.